Revenge Served Cold

Im not really the person for revenge anymore, but in my younger days I was the ultimate revenge person. I help friends get revenge on other people and all my ex's remember me for better and worst. LoL. For anybody that ever asked me for advice on getting back at somebody was satisfied after me. My motto was definitely "don't get mad, get even."  It wasn't just ex's i got revenge on. I did all, teacher's, bosses even neighbor's. Here's a couple of my stories:

• I had a ex whom was a total male whore. I had to teach him about his nasty ways. On one of my gyno visits, i asked could i used the office phone since my cell was dead. I called his  parents house phone and his "hoe" phone. I put on my best nurse voice and left a detailed message describing how he contracted a nasty disease and that everybody he had sex needed to call this number back to get tested for it. That night, i got a call from him confessing all his nasty ways and all the people he slept with. Smh. Last time i heard he was to afraid to go get his dick checked so still thinks he has a disease.
• I had a guy that would NOT stop calling me. It was sooo irritating so I finally chunked T-mobile the $15 and changed my number. But i wasn't done yet, all the cash i had on me (a lot) wrote his number on every bill I had and put the name "Ashley". I made sure i spent it ALL. Im sure he got a couple of phone calls but  really don't care, as long as he stop calling me
• Now this trick, I learned from my step-mom. A girl I openly dis-liked in high school, always tried to cross me. She constantly parked in my spot with her ugly little car. So i decided to teach her a lesson. I went to Academy and grab some of the most of rancid fish paste bait i could find. This shit stanked so much, you have to wear gloves to apply it. If it touched your skin it would stink for a whole two weeks !! So i applied the stinking bait under all the door handles of her car. Her hands were smelling like fish shit for 2 weeks ! She started parking her car wayyyy in the back lol.
• My little visit to Academy inspired me with a ton ideas ! On the deer hunting aisle, i noticed "Deer Piss". !! Yes , i knew this would come in handy ! The perfect  person was my obnoxious ex boyfriend. He loved his car more than me and it wasnt even all that. It was an Impala granted with a whole lot of bells and whistles LoL He always left his windows cracked to air out the weed smell at night. Thats when i took my chance and used a funnel to put the deer piss inside his car. It stinked sooo bad, he had to get the whole thing shampooed 3 times ! To this day he still havent figured out what happened ! LoL

But the best revenge is always to let that person see you doing better than before and just act like they never existed. And keep it moving.




Damn !! Shit got real !