Hilarious Nights = Random Conversation

Sooo since I've recently expanded my friendship circle, which i rarely do, some very interesting discussions have come out of it. This new group of people are hilarious and beyond random. You have to be up on your shit and a very fast thinker to keep up with convo cause they just might be talking about you *wink ! But 90% of the time our conversation revolved around sex !  Which is my favorite depending on the right people of course. On one particular night we went talked about these topics:

• Oral: The homie "J" totally shocked me with the comment "You gotta eat the pussy ! " LoL Not because I never heard it but because I always that the same thing. Not on some manish stuff but seriously we grown up now ! Its like if you havent tasted the passion fruit by now, you dont deserve sex !! You havent enjoyed sex fully if you havent done oral ! And no one likes a person that eats pussy like its hot soup ! It screams Inexperience! Females if you dont suck it, then you dont deserve to be taken serious. Put it like this, your more of a whore for fucking than you are for sucking.
• Minute Wo/Men: Sadly there are still those out there who are working on a "quickie" schedule. My "supposedly" good friend AB told me about an weird experience he had...He had a female that only let him fuck for 5 minutes ! Yep 300 seconds if you want to make it seem long...but really what the fuck !? I've never heard of such foolishness. Then you have the guys who practically bust a nutt before they enter you. Like come on guys, once again we are too grown !
• Sex Soundtrack: Now this was a half & half discussion. People that hook up to music are either lame and have no rthym or they just like to drown out the noise outside the bedroom and focus. So if your doing it for 1st reason then you'r wack ! Just try not to make it obvious. Please and Thank you.
• Pretty Sex: Unless you have been with a person for more than a year you should not be having tie-head sex. Yep, that means sex with a scarf on your head. I confess, i have commited this crime multiple times but sometimes its just happenes and i dont have time to untie my hair. And sometimes its just not worth it LoL.
• Hickey's: Once again "WERE TO OLD" for this shit. Ok hickey's arent just tacky but a way of trying to leave your mark on other's. Come'on son. Hickey's on the ass is ok but on the neck....nope. Lets grow up people !

Natural Hair: Get Kinky

In my past week, I've met a very interesting group of people ! But my two favorites (alias of course) P & J, I quickly became attached to. Maybe because they were rocking there natural hair like my mother or maybe because they were super crazy like me ! LoL Any ways, they made me really want to stop pressing my hair and start rocking my kinky hair ! Only problem, im super lazy and natural hair means two things: TIME & PATIENTS. Which im running low on. But for my soul sisters that indulge in their natural beauty, I salute you. Here's a couple of pics of all natural hairstyles that i love.

Enjoy Ladies !

Stalking Made Easy: Facebook

  Leave it to the desperate and horny to turn a social networking sites, originally intended for recent college grads and underclassmen into a meat market. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone and hitting up their profile to see if they are single, employed and the like. Assuming the person is your facebook friend, you should already know this about them. The real problem with FB cruisin’ (to use a rainbow term) is stalking those you don’t know at all or know but not really.

    Ja'marcus called me one night perplexed. “KD, this chick is stalking my FB page?” “Well just block her.” I say.
“That’s not going to do anything. We have other friends in common and she’ll just look through their pictures to find me, comment and send e-mails.”
“Do you know this chick?”
“Yeah, she was cool. She’s actually  friend of a girl I used to smash but recently I noticed she was looking deep into my pics. Like she’d comment on picture #118 or any picture that had me and another girl in it.  KD, you know how many clicks that is. Its like she was rummaging through my garbage. I feel violated. ”
    I felt Manny’s pain and offered some suggestions. In turn, he wanted me to address this growing problem of FB stalkers. Com'on,  if you like someone or are interested in getting to know them just send them a message and build up to asking them out. Don’t you know how stupid you look commenting on picture #225 or seeing them in real life and quoting some wall convo they had with someone else? (Asshole move)
Under any circumstances are you allowed to question someoneon about their FB interactions:

“So who’s the bitch who wrote "she can’t wait to see you" on your wall?”
It doesn’t matter how slick you are with your question the impression is the same–you have nothing before to do than watch their every move.
I had an ex hit me up about a pic of me on FB: “KD, I didn’t know you were seeing someone.  Who’s nigga with his arm wrapped around you?
“Excuse me? Since when did you start jockin’ my FB page?”
Needless to say I blocked him from my pics.
When used right, social networks are just for that socializing. Stop hiding behind your keyboards and make a move.

We are grown!

Strip Club Virgin

So this past weekend, I finally went to a Houston strip club ! I've watched Player's Club a million times ( it's a classic) so i sort of knew what to expect. Or so I thought... First weird thing, some girls i went to school worked there also...Awkward ! It's one thing to see you take off you'r clothes in gym class but then to see you take off you'r clothes while dancing to HoustonLantaVegas. Huge difference !
   When you first go into the club, you'r eyes are met with ass and titties in all colors and shapes. Our first move was to grab a drink and find a seat. Which was kind of hard being that it was Friday night. I noticed semi-famous stripper/singer, JustBrittany, instantly. Mainly because i recognized the guy making it rain on her. Im not saying any names but he's was a close friend, that is now in the NFL. So that's how my night began ! Some of the strippers weren't the hottest girls i would want stripping but there talent made up for what they lack ! Some of them had names that didn't fit their face but i guess that didn't matter. Names were none needed in this place. *Gasp* Also the club didn't reek of bodily fluids ! Nice touch !
  The guys that attend the strip club every minute they have a chance is kind of weird to me.Its just like guys that live in fantasy game worlds in their free time. You'r just here because in real life, you'r life pretty much sucks! Which brings me to my next topic:

Things I would change in the strip club: Why come into the strip club if you'r not gonna spend any money ? At least buy a drink ! Geez these ladies are trying to make a living here ! Next , the little plastic bags the strippers gather their money in could be a tad bit more fancy...Im just saying. Like get a nice shopping bag, something like a big Saks bag. LoL. The waitresses at the recent strip club were not to hot. I understand there not performing but damn, a little eyeliner wouldn't hurt ma'am ! How about we get some topless waitresses ! Then im sure people wouldn't mind ordering drinks if some titties came with it. Lastly, I think it would be nice if the strippers interacted more. I understand thats asking for alot but a little conversation goes a long way dear. LoL. I also wanted to see more pole tricks ! I can see all that ass shaking in the regular clubs. I wanted to see some tricks ! Something like a golf ball shooting out you'r va-jay-jay. Or maybe open a beer with you'r pussy lips...Im just throwing out a couple ideas here. Feel free to take notes.



All in all, I had a great time !!! Im definitely going back soon ! They have officially found a new customer.

Winter Time Necessity: BOOTS !!

I absolutely love boots, I even wear them in the summer time ( im sooo naughty). LoL During the winter, if I see anybody wearing thong sandals or even open-toe heels without socks, it would make my brain hurt. Boots are the perfect accessorie for the winter time. I understand we live in Texas but yes it gets cold and even snowed a couple times. Some people think expensive boots aren't worth it since you'r only wearing them for winter time, but seriously, if you spend a nice amount on one pair, they'll last forever. My favorites are the Stuart Weitzman boots. The "50/50" boots are basically self explanatory. Their half leather and half stretchy suede ! Amazing i know ! The price of $595, not so amazing. They have at Nordstorm if any has 5 bills to drop on them, but its a pretty good investment.

But if you don't have half a stack to drop on these lovely boots, then check out Steven Madden's boots (i love them also). There's look  very similar and only run for about $119 .



If you need a heel fix, i would go for these haute fury one's by Alexander McQueen.

Revenge Served Cold

Im not really the person for revenge anymore, but in my younger days I was the ultimate revenge person. I help friends get revenge on other people and all my ex's remember me for better and worst. LoL. For anybody that ever asked me for advice on getting back at somebody was satisfied after me. My motto was definitely "don't get mad, get even."  It wasn't just ex's i got revenge on. I did all, teacher's, bosses even neighbor's. Here's a couple of my stories:

• I had a ex whom was a total male whore. I had to teach him about his nasty ways. On one of my gyno visits, i asked could i used the office phone since my cell was dead. I called his  parents house phone and his "hoe" phone. I put on my best nurse voice and left a detailed message describing how he contracted a nasty disease and that everybody he had sex needed to call this number back to get tested for it. That night, i got a call from him confessing all his nasty ways and all the people he slept with. Smh. Last time i heard he was to afraid to go get his dick checked so still thinks he has a disease.
• I had a guy that would NOT stop calling me. It was sooo irritating so I finally chunked T-mobile the $15 and changed my number. But i wasn't done yet, all the cash i had on me (a lot) wrote his number on every bill I had and put the name "Ashley". I made sure i spent it ALL. Im sure he got a couple of phone calls but  really don't care, as long as he stop calling me
• Now this trick, I learned from my step-mom. A girl I openly dis-liked in high school, always tried to cross me. She constantly parked in my spot with her ugly little car. So i decided to teach her a lesson. I went to Academy and grab some of the most of rancid fish paste bait i could find. This shit stanked so much, you have to wear gloves to apply it. If it touched your skin it would stink for a whole two weeks !! So i applied the stinking bait under all the door handles of her car. Her hands were smelling like fish shit for 2 weeks ! She started parking her car wayyyy in the back lol.
• My little visit to Academy inspired me with a ton ideas ! On the deer hunting aisle, i noticed "Deer Piss". !! Yes , i knew this would come in handy ! The perfect  person was my obnoxious ex boyfriend. He loved his car more than me and it wasnt even all that. It was an Impala granted with a whole lot of bells and whistles LoL He always left his windows cracked to air out the weed smell at night. Thats when i took my chance and used a funnel to put the deer piss inside his car. It stinked sooo bad, he had to get the whole thing shampooed 3 times ! To this day he still havent figured out what happened ! LoL

But the best revenge is always to let that person see you doing better than before and just act like they never existed. And keep it moving.




Damn !! Shit got real !



The Text Message...

I hate talking on the phone, I really do. Unless its important or has to due with money, i cant say i have held a conversation over 2min while on the phone. Its not that im bad at holding conversations, its mostly due to the fact that most people dont really ever have shit to talk about. Why waste my time listening to something that you just could have told me in a txt message? The Text message has has forever changed the way people communicate with each other. No longer do we have to worry about that akward silence that come from a phone conversation gone left. Dont like the way someone sounds on the phone? Send them a text. Got a new "bun joint" that you want to talk to while in class? Text them. Simple right? Apprently not so much for some of us.

The main problem with text messages is this: Most people lack "text messaging etiquette". Now at this point your thinking to yourself: Am I one of thos people? Chances are your doing just fine. But for who are lacking in "text messaging etiquette", heres a few simple rules to follow:

• Thou shall not mass text.
• Thou shall not text someone who has not yet responded to an earlier text.
• Thou shall not START a text past 1AM
• Thou shall not drunk text exes (unless he/she started it)
• Thou shall not use LOL or smiley faces as a man.... EVER
• Thou shall not ask out a girl for the first time or break up with a girl/boy via text
• THOU SHALL NOT SEND ONE WORD TEXT MESSAGES! Not only is it annoying, it kills the entire flow of the conversation.

I'd love to write more on this subject but im currently sitting in class so look out for part 2 at a later date.

My Very First Post!!!

#shoutouts to Ki for givin me the opportunity to do this i am very excited!! :-D. lol so my name is Raven i go by Rae' now..so tht is wht you WILL call me kay? lol naw im jokin call me wht you want..umm this is an intro for you readers so yall can get to knw me..i am in my last 14 days of b-n a Teenager CHA CHEA!! lol my bday Nov 15. Umm ima a mother, i party, im addicted to Twitter.. but i am very entertainin , intelligent, a milf, a bitch at times, i believe i have Pyscho tendecies..i love chocolate & i love to eat.. Most of my posts will be abt Sex & Parentin tips..I LOVE MY SON!!! My major is Communications, Im gunna have my own tlk show one day!! I am in the progress of makin my own Internet Tlk Show, but idk wht to call it, I will be tapin my first show Super SOON. I am open to any suggestions & critism good or bad i've heard it all before..nonetheless i would like feed back..til next time.................

Let's Physical : Gym Horny !

After months of eating my favorite foods and not doing anything physical (minus the random sex-capades) i decided to start back working out. So today i took to the gym and actually worked out. It was pretty simple at first, a little cardio does a body good and also some lower body workouts. I was feeling the burn in quads glutes and other places Im not to sure of the anatomy term. As went for the cool down I realize, I was kind of turned on. Not by anybody else in the gym (I was solo dolo) but from myself. The reflection in the mirror was NICE i must admit and my all that blood pumping to areas in my body that haven't been worked out in forever had my mind roaming. It's true what they say then: Working out definitely gives you a glow, boost your metabolism and you'r sex drive. You might not want sex after working out and being super sweaty, but trust me that "bonus" work out is lingering in your mind after. Im pretty sure all those endorphins rushing to your head might have something to do with it, because i was definitely feeling good. It might take more then you'r 1st workout session to get those feelings. Here's a little tip, work-out in a mirrored room and watch how hot you'r body looks ! Or work out with you'r mate, you might be able to squeeze in a little extra session right there on the weight bench !